I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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