Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
