remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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