so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
