we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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