The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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