I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
