reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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