you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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