"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
There's always time for handjobs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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