I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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