I'm drive I can fine osifer
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
