I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
