Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
