we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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