20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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