I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
