you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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