this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
