i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
