Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
