I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize