I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
