I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
