I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Randomize
