i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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