end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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