you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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