it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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