guys are only as good as the porn they watch
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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