And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
