he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize