I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
