Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
