oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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