it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
