So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
