If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was like eating out sand paper
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
