do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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