He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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