oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
