I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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