How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize