he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
