i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
