I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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