How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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