Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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