suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
