I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
