omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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