Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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