i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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