Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
