how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am full of burrito and curiosity
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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