At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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