Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
