if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
