Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
