I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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