if i can run in heels then i can drive
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
