No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
